In conjunction with Father’s Day this month, let your dad know that he is loved each and every single day
Father’s Day in 2014 was a totally new thing for me. It was the first year of my life that my dad wasn’t around to celebrate it anymore. He had passed away in June the previous year, about a week after he celebrated his last Father’s Day together with all of us.
This year’s Father’s Day will mark 7 years of celebrating it without him.
You may ask why we’re still celebrating it even when he’s no longer with us. Well, just because he isn’t around, doesn’t mean that we can’t celebrate it. We still celebrate his birthdays and his wedding anniversary with my mom too. But it’s also because, in May 2015, I became a dad myself and when I celebrate it, it feels like I’m celebrating it on behalf of my dad too.
Being a father for the last 5 years has really made me appreciate all that my own dad did for me so much more than I ever did. I admit that I took for him for granted when I was younger and when he was alive.
I didn’t spend as much time with him as I should have and I didn’t communicate with him the things that I really wanted to when I had the chance to. I regret that and I know I won’t get the chance to do that now. Looking after my son, doing the things that I do for him, it just reminds me of all the times my dad did the same things for me, but I never appreciated it as much as I should have.
It’s true when people say, how you don’t know what you have until its gone and how you won’t fully understand why people do certain things until you’re walking in their shoes.
My parents used to tell me that “you’ll understand when you have kids of your own” whenever I question the things they did. I also remember telling myself that I won’t do those things even when I have kids of my own, only to actually do everything that they said I would.
It’s only after being a dad myself, that I truly understand why my mom and dad did the things that they did. You really do need to have kids of your own to fully understand it. It’s the same as when parents tell you “you’ll understand once you’re older” when they’re advising you on stuff. You don’t understand it at that time and you tell yourself that you won’t do the same things they did because you don’t agree with it. However, years later, when you are at the age when they said you’ll understand it, you do. You do understand it and you end up doing the very same things that you said you won’t do.
With me, it was my dad who said those words to me more often. He just knew that someday, I will understand. That I will also do the same things that he did. He knew that I would eventually grow up to the man that he always wanted me to be.
And it’s because of this, that I just miss him so much more. It’s because of this, that I truly do regret not spending more time with him than I should have when he was alive. It’s because of this, that I continue and will continue to celebrate all celebrations that are connected to him. To keep him in memory and to remember his life.
For those of you who still have your dads around with you, let him know just how much you love him and appreciate him. Let him know just how much he means to you.
For those who have lost your dads, never let memories of them fade away. Keep them alive inside of you. Remember the love you had for them and the love they had for you.
To all the dads out there, past and present, here’s to you.
I Am Benny Lim 