If anyone would have asked me 20 years ago, where I’d see myself in 20 years time, I would probably have given them an answer that would have been pretty vague. Mainly because at the age of 12, I wouldn’t have been able to really know what my future would be like or what I’d actually want to do. I think at that time, my mind was more or less set on becoming a professional footballer but as it is in life, nothing is certain except for death.
At the age of 32, having my own little family, I’m at the point in my life where the window to truly define who I am and the legacy that I would like to leave behind is growing smaller and smaller. Yes, again, nothing is certain in life and up to the point of my death, I can still do things that could define me and make me be remembered for but right now, I feel like I need to have a clearer picture of what exactly is it that I want out of my life and what I would like to leave behind for the future generations. My problem is, I feel like I’m still far from reaching there. There are days where I still am not fully sure of what I want to do with my life. It sucks to be honest because I feel like I don’t have the luxury of time for it anymore. I need to sort out of my life as soon as I possibly can.
So I’m starting the process of defining myself as a person, first and foremost. From there, I will then look for the answers that I’ve been searching for this whole time.
I think along the way since I became an adult, I lost sight of who I truly am. I got so caught up in what the world thought I should be and tried to be that person that I gave up on becoming the person that I wanted to be.
The world is already filled with people who despite being different individuals, are almost identical because they try to fit in with society and the world’s expectations. They want to be ‘accepted’ and ‘liked’ by everyone around them that they forget to be who they really want to be, the person that they know would make them the happiest, by being themselves.
We’ve been taught since young by a system that does not promote individualism but instead to follow the crowd so that we can be people pleasers. And I think that is sad.
I hope that my self-cleansing of that system, my self-definition will help me get back on the right track.
I hope that if you’re on the same boat as me, you’ll find the answers that you’re looking for too.
So go on, define yourself.
Originally published at www.iambennylim.com.
I Am Benny Lim 